Whether you are a public speaker or not, you ARE a storyteller.In fact, you are such a good storyteller that your primary audience is almost always convinced of the reality and truth of your stories, even though they are sometimes not true. You are your primary audience and you tell yourself stories every day.
- When you’re mother-in-law gives you ‘that look’ you tell yourself a story about what she is saying to herself about you.
EXAMPLE: “There she goes again. She’s judging me. She never accepts me for who I am. She thinks I’m fat, lazy and a bad dad.” REALITY: Something you said reminded her that she forgot to return an important phone call at work yesterday. The ‘look’ had nothing to do with you.
- When the lady on the phone seems rude, you tell yourself a story about her competence and professionalism.
EXAMPLE: “How could this company hire someone like this lady! Why is she being so defensive? I just want them to return my money and pay the shipping fees. Doesn’t she know the customer is always right?” REALITY: She just found out last night that her husband has been having an affair and she doesn’t have the authority to return your money, even though she agrees and wants to.
- When a leader in the church sends an email expressing frustration about what happened this Sunday in church, you tell yourself a story about his attitude and loyalty to you and the church.
EXAMPLE: “What does he mean that he’s ‘disappointed’? Who does he think he is, my boss or something? I thought he was committed to this church and one of my trusted leaders. He’s really borken my trust.” REALITY: The man was genuinely offended by something someone said from the pulpit and took it personally. He’s committed to the church but would like to understand why it was said publicly.
Check out these two articles by Michael Hyatt and Seth Godin. These are great reminders to combat what we tell ourselves about others every day.
What Story Are You Telling Yourself? By Michael Hyatt