Wayne Hedlund

Author: Wayne Hedlund

  • Lego’s And the People Connection

     

    You and I are kind of like a Lego. That’s right, the little toys that we all played with when we were kids. I sort of ‘borrowed’ this concept from Larry Osborne’s book, “Sticky Church“.

    So we all have some of those little connectors. Some of us have a whole bunch of them and others have just a few. The connectors are there for a purpose. They represent the number of PEOPLE with whom we have the time, energy, and emotional bandwidth to connect with outside our immediate family. They represent friendships. Not the superficial kind. The friends that you have or are growing to trust. You spend time with them and communicate regularly. If you’re going through a tough time, they will likely be the ones you talk to for encouragement and support.

    As Larry has so aptly pointed out in ‘Sticky Church‘, there are several problems with this scenario, especially as it relates to the church world. I’d like to explore some of them with you here. First, let’s define the most common types of ‘Lego’s’ in our church:

    • The Lonely Lego.
      I am pretty confident that most churches have more Lonely Lego’s than they realize. The Lonely Lego doesn’t have anyone connected to his connectors. He {or she} probably looks like he has friends, but the reality is that all of his friendships are superficial for one reason or another. If you were able to get him to honestly assess his friendship status, he would confess that he is genuinely lonely. Let me reiterate this one point about MOST Lonely Lego’s – they are usually NOT obvious. I’ve heard many stories about longstanding members who outwardly seem connected, but actually are not. I suspect a lot of Lonely Lego’s have unknowingly built emotional or physical barriers around themselves that greatly hinder the development of meaningful relationships. For example, he may be trying to find the ‘perfect’ friend, he may be too busy, or he may have convinced himself that nobody wants to be his friend.
    • The Full Lego.
      The Full Lego usually has the opposite problem. All of her connectors are full. She has developed several friendships either within or outside the church and she doesn’t have any remaining emotional or physical capacity to develop any others. Often, these people are quite content with their relationships and have no interest or desire in pursuing others. Several years ago an old friend of mine moved back into the area. I had been connected to this friend when he lived in the area more than a decade earlier. Upon his return I discovered my ‘connectors’ were already full. This created some tension between us since he assumed we would continue our friendship as it had left off.
    • The Open Lego.
      On occasion you’ll have people in your church who have been around for a while and who, for one reason or another, have a couple of connectors available. Perhaps one of her friends has recently moved away or maybe she has just entered a new phase of life allowing her more emotional bandwidth for relationships than in the past. Sometimes it can be obvious to an observer when someone has transitioned from a Full Lego to an Open Lego.
    • The New Lego.
      The New Lego represents the individual in your church who has only recently begun attending. He is often a guest or someone who has chosen to make your church his place of worship within the past year. Usually, the New Lego has a few available connectors and are hopeful that he will discover new friendships at church. Often, he is sorely disappointed. Nearly everyone he meets either SEEMS connected (Lonely Lego’s) or literally ARE connected (Full Lego’s). So he sticks around for a while until he finally decides to try filling his connectors elsewhere. ‘Elsewhere’ often ends up being among his unchurched relationships or at another church entirely.
    I’m not going to attempt to postulate what percentage of each Lego type you have in your church; however, I am fairly confident that this “Lego” illustration clearly defines a genuine problem for you. The lonely aren’t getting any less lonely and your guests eventually walk out the back door looking for friends they couldn’t find at your church. I’m not going to offer solutions here, but I WOULD like to take the Lego analogy a little farther to see where it might lead in your thinking.
     
    So, Your Options May Include:
    • Connect New Lego’s with other New Lego’s.
      This is probably the most obvious solution, but one which we often don’t think to do. If you can find ways to help your guests and newer attendees to connect with others who are also in that scenario, then it seems more likely they’ll find someone who has open ‘connectors’. EXAMPLE: Offer a Welcome Lunch & an eight week Small Group for Guests.
    • Connect Open or Lonely Lego’s with New Lego’s.
      If it becomes clear that a member has open connectors, consider finding ways to encourage relationships with newer attendees as well. EXAMPLE: Ask the member to lead/host a small group which includes several guests.
    • Connect Full Lego’s with New Lego’s.
      This can be a more difficult option, but is still worth considering. Often your Full Lego’s are some of your best leaders and most friendly people in the church. Usually, many of them possess a high loyalty to the church and are firmly rooted in the church’s DNA. Might there be a way to help New Lego’s build connections by utilizing Full Lego’s? EXAMPLE: Ask your members to consider leading a small group for guests once a year. Ensure that they understand that you aren’t expecting them to fill their already full Lego, but to step away from some of their longstanding relationships for a season in order to serve others in the church body.
    Your turn. What do you think? How else might this analogy help us re-think relationships and community in the local church?
     
    Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

  • Time Management 101: Eat the Frog

    Perhaps you’ve heard me talk about the book called “Eat That Frog” by Brian Tracy. The premise of the book is that you should try to always begin your day doing your least favorite or most dreaded task first (like eat a frog). A simple concept, but not so simple to do. However, it’s still worth our time and consideration.

    Watch this 90 second video by Brian Tracy
    to get the full picture.

    Image source honewatson.com

    Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

  • The Language of Creation

     

    I recently got to hear Robert Morris share something I had never really heard before. He noted that the language God used when creating the world in Genesis was very unique. In particular, he sometimes used language that brought something from nothing. Other times, he created something out of something else and commanded that something else to be the sustenance for that created thing.

     
    For example, in the below two passages God created something from nothing.

    Genesis 1:3-4 “And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.”

    Genesis 1:6-7 “And God said, ‘Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water.’ So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so.”

    However, in these passages he created something from a created thing (land) and commanded that it find it’s sustenance from that same source.

    Genesis 1:11-12 “Then God said, ‘Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.’ And it was so. The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.”

    Genesis 1:24 “And God said, ‘Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind.’ And it was so.”

    Fascinating. God built ‘systems’ at the beginning of time allowing His creation to sustain itself. System-building is one of the basic functions of the creative process.
     
    Man is only just scratching the surface of discovering just how vast and awesome God’s creation is. Check out this video made by the American Museum of Natural History that does a great job showing just what man knows to date.

     

  • Thursday Quote – When Less is More (Andy Stanley)

     
    Andy Stanley

    Andy Stanley hits another home run in his two part podcast series entitled “When Less Is More”. These two audio clips are each about 20 minutes long and well worth listening to. Here’s the deal. You are spending way too much of your time doing things that you were never designed to do. I guarantee that you will be challenged and motivated anew to PERSONALLY “do what only you can do because the less you do the more you accomplish.”

    Quote 1: “Leaders forget to distinguish between their authority and their core competencies. Every leader has authority over things they’re no good at. When you forget to distinguish between your authority and your core competencies, you will leverage your authority, because you’re the authority, in areas where you are no good and you will miss-leverage your authority.”

    Click this link to listen to “When Less is More – Part 1”
    (If you have difficulty listening, right click the link and ‘Save As’ to your desktop.)

    Quote 2: “Stress is often related to what you are doing, not how much you are doing. When you’re in your sweet spot, you can’t get enough. When you’re outside your sweet spot you want to get out of the ministry. The reason you are so worn out is, not so much because of how much you have to do, but because you’re spending so much time in areas you have no business in . . . it sucks the life out of you.”

    Click this link to listen to “When Less is More – Part 2”.
    (If you have difficulty listening, right click the link and ‘Save As’ to your desktop.)

  • Practice Out Loud

    Whenever I have to speak to a group of people I try real hard to rehearse out loud when I’m by myself. I’ve never regretted doing it and have often regretted NOT doing it. If I’m the emcee and will be giving announcements, I practice out loud. If I’m going to be sharing communion on Sunday, I practice what I will say out loud first.

    I know way too many people who don’t do this and a couple who refuse to do it. I’m not sure what the issue is. The point is to refine and clarify your message in such a way that people will hear and understand. Some of the best communicators of our time have been known to rehearse their message out loud. As an example, I’ve heard both Bill Hybels and Andy Stanley confess to this practice.

    Not convinced? Check out this article by Michael Hyatt called “How to Improve Your Public Speaking by Practicing Out Loud.” He gives some great practical tips on preparing your message for the greatest possible impact during delivery.

  • A Moment with Robert Morris

    I had the great honor to have spent a few moments with Pastor Robert Morris and his wife, Debbie, this past week during Elim Fellowship’s Leadership Conference. As the Service Producer I had the chance to touch base with him on his needs/plans during each of the sessions as well as to engage in just a few moments of friendly banter. I treasure these moments. Over the years I’ve had the privilege of doing the same with Bill Johnson, Jack Hayford, David Ireland and Larry Stockstill.

    I wish I could have spent more time with them. However, I think I spent enough to at least get a first impression of their personality and character. Here is a summary of some of those ‘first impressions’, particularly regarding Pastor Robert.

    Humble.
    Robert unapologetically preaches with authority and confidence. He told the audience that he had a measure of authority and confidence as well – especially in the area of giving and finances. Yet his attitude was not haughty or proud, in my opinion. I think one mark of a humble person is an awareness of his strengths and the confidence to engage those strengths with confidence.

    Transparent.
    Transparency is a quality I highly value and admire in others. When I speak of transparency, I’m speaking of that inclination to be exactly who you are no matter what venue you find yourself in. In other words, you’re the same in the back hall as you are when on-stage. You don’t have two persona’s. You simply are who you are, wherever you find yourself, whether in public or in private. I saw Robert’s love for the Word of God, sense of humor, and desire to please the Lord in the green room just as much as we saw it on-stage.

    Accepting.
    I’ve been around enough “important” people to experience the unpleasant feeling that I am invisible or unimportant despite being present and accounted for. (Note: I am not speaking of the other great leaders mentioned above.) From the moment I met Pastor Robert I never felt like he somehow considered himself above myself or anyone else with whom he spoke to. In fact, in watching him interact with the few people who made their way to him before or after the service I saw the same exact thing. He seemed to genuinely consider others just as valuable as the next guy.

    Understand, I don’t know Robert Morris personally. These were just the general impressions I got in my few interactions with him. I’m inclined to believe that my impressions are fairly accurate. I don’t think humility, transparency, and acceptance are traits that are easy to ‘fake’.

    What about you? What are the ‘impressions’ people get upon first meeting you? If you were to evaluate YOURSELF in the above 3 traits, how would you rate yourself? In fact, what people in your life do you think would honestly say those three characteristics describe you?

    I don’t know about you, but I aspire to excel in these areas of my life. I hope you do as well.

  • The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

    Daniel Pink

    Last year at our staff retreat we watched this 10 minute video together as a staff and discussed the concepts and the ramifications of the ideas presented by Daniel Pink on the church environment. It was particularly relevant in relationship to the recruitment of leaders and volunteers for our church ministry. Enjoy.

    Disclaimer: I am pretty certain Daniel Pink is not a believer, though it’s possible I’m wrong. The presentation given here is meant for the world at large and was not specifically designed for the ‘Christian World’. Also, I am not suggesting I believe or wholeheartedly support everything Daniel says, though I find it interesting and very much worth considering.

  • The Strategic Process Summary

    strategicI’m a firm believer in using The Strategic Process (developed by Erika Andersen in her book, “Being Strategic“) to help you think through the various challenges you face as well as to build plans for your ministry’s future. However, there are a lot of differing ideas on what Strategic Planning should look like for the local church. In fact, one of my favorite bloggers recently claimed that ‘Strategic Planning’ doesn’t really work anymore. As I drilled down the article I realized he was talking about a model of planning that was embraced by businesses and organizations in the 80’s and 90’s – and one in which I don’t personally promote.

    That said, let me walk you through what I call the Strategic Process. These five steps can be very helpful in dealing with the various challenges your organization faces. For example, recently a pastor told me his church was struggling getting their teens involved in the church’s youth group because another larger church offered a youth group experience that was attractive to teens, but not very relevant spiritually. This is a great example of a challenge which The Strategic Process can help find solutions for.

    The Strategic Process will also be a great tool to walk you through long range strategic plans for your church or ministry. For example, let’s say you have a vision to build a powerful children’s ministry that reaches all sorts of families in your community. The Strategic Process will force you to think through this challenge strategically and critically, allowing you to build a plan towards your goal that is much more likely to succeed.

    The Strategic Process Summary
    I need to give credit where it’s due. Much of these ideas have been generated and enhanced from Erika Andersen’s book, “Being Strategic“.

    1. Define the Challenge
      Your first step is to clearly define what your challenge is. You’ll do this in no more than 3-4 sentences. This step is critical in that it helps you stay on task during the rest of the process. Without a clearly defined challenge, you may be tempted to get sidetracked and end up creating a strategic plan that won’t really solve your problem. To learn more about how to ‘Define the Challenge’, visit THIS PAGE.
    2. Clarify ‘What Is?’
      In your next step you will stop and take stock of what is. This is where you determine what your current resources are, what you are presently doing to tackle the challenge, and how effective your efforts have been to date. Perhaps you’ve heard the term, “SWOT Analysis”. This is the step in which you engage this tool to evaluate where things stand right now. To learn more about how to ‘Clarify What Is?’, visit THIS PAGE.
    3. Envision ‘What’s the Hope?’
      You can’t effectively build a plan towards a desired future until you’ve determined what you hope that future will look like. In this stage of strategic planning you will build a realistic and fairly detailed picture of what you hope to eventually accomplish. To learn more about how to ‘Envision What’s the Hope?’, visit THIS PAGE.
    4. Face ‘What’s in the Way?’
      Your almost ready to build your plan. Before you do so, there is one more critical step you should first accomplish. You need to acknowledge any barriers which may be in the way of accomplishing your goal. Some barriers may be external barriers – situations or circumstances that may get in the way; other barriers will be internal barriers – attitudes or ways of thinking that could derail your plans. To learn more about how to ‘Face What’s in the Way?’, visit THIS PAGE.
    5. Determine ‘What’s the Path?’
      Finally, you are ready to build your strategic plan. This is where you lay out all the information gathering and research you’ve done in the first four steps to identify how you will most effectively get from ‘here’ to ‘there’. There are actually two VERY IMPORTANT pieces to this step. The first is to identify your top three or four ‘Strategic Steps’. These steps should tackle your most relevant barriers and be the most obvious ‘first steps’ towards your goal. The second piece of the path is to clarify your ‘Tactical Steps‘. This is where the rubber meets the road. Until now, everything has been in the realm of ideas, dreams, and hopes. Your tactical steps are sometimes the hardest to identify and fulfill – because it means somebody actually has to DO something. However, without your tactical steps, you’re plans will remain on paper and all of your time has been wasted. To learn more about how to ‘Determine What’s the Path?’, visit THIS PAGE.

    One final note, we don’t often think to utilize ‘The Strategic Process’ enough. There are many times when I will speak to a staff person or leader who has been trained to utilize these steps and who are struggling with a problem and don’t know what to do. It’s obvious on paper, but not so obvious in real life – walk your problem through ‘The Strategic Process’! You may also find THIS STRATEGIC WORKSHEET a great help as well.

    Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

  • Guest Friendly or Seeker Sensitive

     
     

    It seems I’ve caused at least a minor stir among some of my readers regarding this past month’s “Guest Friendly” series. Evidently, some of you are getting the impression that I am actively promoting a particular model of church ministry labelled years ago by Bill Hybels as the ‘Seeker Sensitive Model’. I can understand how my most recent posts can come across that way.

    I’d like to bring clarity to that question here. To be blunt, clear, and concise: I am not suggesting your church adopt a “seeker sensitive” approach to ministry. Let me explain.

    SEEKER SENSITIVE: the seeker sensitive model which, until recently, was a key value at Willowcreek Community Church states that most aspects of the Sunday morning experience should be specifically catered to the unchurched or ‘seeker’. This means that the worship, announcements, special music and the preaching from the Word is primarily centered around the unbeliever.

    GUEST FRIENDLY: In my ‘guest friendly’ series I have been talking a lot about how to host your guests. I introduced new language like “Insiders Looking Out”, “Outsiders Looking In”, etc. in my post about adopting a ‘Guest Friendly Perspective’. I’ve encouraged you to view the Sunday morning experience, your parking lot, even your website through the eyes of the guest. If you’d like to read through the entire series, you may click on this link.

    Here’s the deal. I think it’s important that your church is guest-friendly. That means you are regularly thinking about your guests each week in some way. It means you don’t alienate them with your words or your attitude. It means you don’t drive them away simply because you WEREN’T thinking about them. Is that being ‘seeker-sensitive’? Technically, yes, but it is not a ‘Seeker-Sensitive Model’ of church ministry. It is simply common sense.

    Let me say that again . . . being ‘Guest Friendly’ is simply common sense. If you want to experience growth and desire the unchurched to not only darken your door, but come back again, it is critical that you figure out how to care for your guests. The only reason that I can see for a church to specifically choose to NOT be guest friendly would be because they just don’t want new people at church.

    Here’s the difference. In a Guest Friendly Church, your ministry will include and take into consideration the guests in your midst; but it won’t just focus on topics that are solely for the unbeliever. In a Guest Friendly Church, you will welcome guests, make them feel at home, and hopefully follow up with them; but you will also welcome your regular attendees, make them feel at home, and include them in every aspect of your Sunday experience. In a Guest Friendly Church, you may give some sort of evangelical call at the end of your message for those in the room who are ready to receive Christ’s amazing forgiveness; but it may come after a message that was on a totally different subject.

    A Seeker Sensitive Church will eventually alienate your committed members and mature believers. It communicates that the newbies and the unchurched are more important than they are. None of us want that.    What we DO want is for our committed members and mature believers to receive powerful, spirit-filled ministry every single week, equipping them to become a light for Christ in their communities and workplaces. What we PRAY FOR is that, as the light of Christ is spread into our communities, the needy, broken, and curious will show up to church one Sunday to see what this ‘God thing’ is all about.

    When that happens . . . will you be Guest Friendly?

  • Thursday Quote – Steven Furtick & Perry Noble

    I read two great blogs this week and couldn’t decide which of them to quote for today’s Thursday quote – so I’ve added them both.

     
    Steven Furtick

    Steven Furtick challenges us to stretch people to the limits . . . but to be sure to not stretch them beyond what they are called or capable of. Here’s an excerpt of the article…

    Stretching someone out of their comfort zone should be a means of developing people in their sweet spot. Not taking them out of it. There’s such a thing as being uncomfortable because you’re being stretched. And then there’s being uncomfortable because you’re doing something you weren’t created for.


    Perry Noble

    Perry Noble shares Five Core Values of a Church in Decline. Very thought provoking and very true. Hopefully, the shoe, in this case, just doesn’t fit. Here’s the first core value…

    #1 – Laziness – Most people/churches are not “stuck” or in decline because they do not know or understand what the Lord wants them to do…God speaks very clearly in His Word and through His Spirit. It’s just that God’s work always requires people to take a step of faith! Remember, God promised the Israelites the “Promised Land,” but they actually had to go in and fight the battles. A church that refuses to do whatever it takes and embraces laziness will eventually settle in the desert until that generation dies off.

    Disclosure of Quoted Text: Permission has been granted by the offices of Steven Furtick and Perry Noble to quote and link to their blogs.